Last Updated on: 13th January 2024, 09:54 pm
Letting go is one of the things we find difficult to do. We hold on to things, even if they are no longer good for us.
Learning to let go is something that took me a lot of time to learn. I’m happy to share that I no longer have this difficulty, and I’ll probably write about how I achieved that in a future blog post. In the meantime, here are some things you can let go of today and start feeling better about yourself and your life.
1. Let go of a can’t do attitude
We often encounter new challenges, tasks, or opportunities in life to which our first reaction is usually a sense of hesitation. We tend to think that we’re not capable of doing something just because we’ve never tried it in the past.
However, if you allow yourself to face challenges head-on, then you will realize that you’re capable of much more than you think. By allowing yourself to try new things, you’ll even discover new skills and talents, and in the process, you’ll get to know yourself better.
Even if you fail, it will still be a learning experience for you. You will have at least tried something new or learned what your weaknesses are or where you can improve.
So the next time you’re faced with a new challenge, experience, task, or opportunity, say “Yes, I can!”
2. Let go of self-blame
We often blame ourselves for things we are not even responsible for. It’s common to hear religious people blaming each other for their sinfulness whenever tragedies occur. Whenever we see our loved ones suffer, we also blame ourselves for not helping more. When our friends get in trouble for doing us a favor, we blame ourselves as well.
The truth is that you’re not responsible for everyone and everything. Natural calamities, for example, are forces of nature. You can neither cause them nor prevent them on your own. You are also not responsible for making the lives of your loved ones better, as they are in control of and responsible for their own lives.
Be glad that you can help them any way you can, but you don’t have to feel that you need to save them. Moreover, even if someone gets in trouble for helping you, it’s still not your fault as they helped you of their own free will.
Understand that you are not accountable and responsible for everyone. Do your best to help the situation, but do not compromise your own well-being. Be content with how much you’re able to give.
3. Let go of negative self-talk
Loving yourself means being kind to yourself. As an analogy, we would never tell a loved one that they’re not good-looking or that they’re not good enough. However, we often tell ourselves these same things.
Negative self-talk usually comes with self-doubt and a lack of self-esteem. When we fail at something, we often tell ourselves that we’re not good enough. When we look at ourselves in the mirror, we think about how we wish our arms or tummies were slimmer or how unruly our hair is.
Turn all this negative self-talk into a positive one. You should be your biggest fan in that you should believe in yourself, have confidence in yourself, and be ready to overlook your flaws.
When you’re a fan of, say, Beyoncé, you don’t listen to the people who criticize her. You just focus on the beautiful parts of her personality. When you’re your biggest fan, then you’ll also focus on your positive attributes and silence the self-criticisms that run through your head.
4. Let go of your feelings of insecurity
Feelings of insecurity usually come to the surface when we compare ourselves to others or when we think of what others think of us. However, these thoughts and feelings are usually unfounded because, although others may be better than you at certain things, you’re certainly better than others on many other things as well.
To let go of this insecurity, you should stop comparing yourself to others. Stop dwelling on your weaknesses and focus instead on your gifts and strengths. Believe that you are just as capable as everyone else.
You should also stop being mindful of what everyone thinks of you. No matter what you do, you’ll always end up pleasing and displeasing certain people, so the best thing you can do is to just be you. Fully embracing who you are—weaknesses and all—will eventually make you shine and allow you to be the best you can be.
5. Let go of feelings of shame
Feelings of shame usually come as we try to be our true selves. We always worry about whether we’re saying the right things or doing things the right way.
However, accepting yourself for what and who you are should come with the acceptance that you are different from others and that there’s no shame in that. Whether it’s the way you dress, talk, or behave, if you’re not harming anyone, then there’s no reason for you to feel ashamed.
6. Let go of feelings of envy or jealousy
Feelings of envy or jealousy also come with feelings of insecurity. People who are constantly envious or jealous of others always focus on how others are doing better than them—how they have better cars, houses, jobs, or relationships.
Instead of being jealous of what other people have, use their success as inspiration to better yourself and to succeed in what you do. Instead of resenting them for what they have that you don’t, try to learn from them. Perhaps you can follow some of the things they’ve done to achieve their success. Use these feelings of envy as motivation to work harder on yourself and on reaching your goals.
Let them spring you into action so that you can quickly achieve the same success that others have. The less time you focus on feeling sorry for yourself, the more quickly you’ll get to elevate your life!
7. Let go of the need for approval
Constantly trying to get people’s approval can make you put undue pressure on yourself (to be the best that others expect you to be) or to do things that your heart is not into (to pursue goals that others expect you to pursue). This can be emotionally draining, as you’re constantly trying to be something you’re not. It’s also tiring to always work to get other people’s approval.
As long as you don’t harm anyone, then you’re entitled to live your life the way you want to. As long as you do your best in everything you do, it no longer matters if people think that you’re not doing enough. As long as you’re doing what you love to do and what makes you happy, then you don’t have to be concerned about what others think you should be doing.
8. Let go of guilt
It’s natural to feel guilty over the wrong things you’ve done, but it’s not healthy for you to keep holding on to that guilt, as it deprives you of your sense of inner peace.
You can let go of your guilt by acknowledging and accepting that you’ve made a mistake and by apologizing to or asking for forgiveness from the person you have wronged. Pretending that you’ve done nothing wrong or refusing to accept that you have done something wrong will only make those guilt feelings persist.
9. Let go of feelings of regret
We often find it hard to let go of the things that could have been, should have been, or would have been… if only we did this or we didn’t do that. However, although we should learn from our past mistakes, we shouldn’t dwell on the repercussions of those mistakes.
Holding on to feelings of regret will only keep you up at night and leave a heavy feeling in your heart. Let go of any negative outcomes that your actions or decisions may have brought about by accepting that you’ve made a mistake and by learning from it.
Also accept that those mistakes or events were instrumental in bringing you to where you are today. Try to appreciate them and be thankful for them. Trust that everything happens for a reason and that what you did not get wasn’t meant for you. The sooner you can let go of these regrets, the sooner you can move on to the next best thing.
10. Let go of toxic situations
We often find it hard to leave toxic situations—be it a work, friend, or home situation—because we feel disempowered to do so. We feel that we have no choice but to endure the negative things that take place around us.
The truth, though, is that you do not have to put up with anything that makes you feel bad about yourself. If you’re being mistreated at work, then you should have the courage to leave. If the people in your home are constantly fighting, then you don’t have to get involved.
If you are not part of the issue, then you should go someplace where you can find peace. If your friends engage in negative behaviors such as gossip or constant complaining, then you don’t have to stay to listen to what they say.
You deserve to be happy. Let go of the negative things that happen around you by seeking those that make you feel good and positive about yourself.
11. Let go of toxic people
As with toxic situations, you don’t have to put up with toxic people either—even if they’re among your loved ones, such as your family or friends. If people mistreat you or take advantage of you, then you should distance yourself from them. If you feel unaccepted by the people you consider friends, then you should search for people who can accept and understand you.
You don’t have to feel guilty for deserting or avoiding the people who harm you. It doesn’t mean you must stop loving or caring for them, but you can do so from a distance. Protect and love yourself, and by doing so, you’ll be able to do more good for others.
12. Let go of anger
Every day, we see acts of violence that stem from anger. Although it’s normal and natural to feel angry when we are wronged, it does no good to hold on to that anger, as it can eventually consume us and make us do things that we will later regret.
Deal with your anger by telling the other person how you feel—without having to use hurtful words—and by giving yourself a time-out (being alone, praying, meditating, going out, or sleeping) in order to get yourself to calm down.
Let go of the thing, event, or situation that made you angry and move on by focusing on the more important things at hand. Letting go of your anger helps you keep your peace of mind and will help you focus on what’s really important—your goals, relationships, and others.
13. Let go of your pride
While it’s not good to be insecure and to think that you’re inferior to others, it’s also not good to think too much of yourself. Learn to acknowledge your weaknesses, but at the same time, be willing to ask for help in improving those weaknesses. Acting as if you know everything will only impede your growth.
Let go of pride in your relationships. Even if others do something that hurts you, acknowledge that, just like you, they are imperfect, too.
As such, be humble enough to take the first step in mending relationships. Apologize, even if you were not the one who made the mistake.
Constantly hoping and waiting for others to give you what you want and need will only lead to frustration, as they can’t possibly read your mind. Take down the walls of pride and let them know exactly what you need.
14. Let go of worry
We often worry about so many things—how to solve a problem, what problems may come up, what will happen tomorrow, what will happen to our loved ones, and others.
However, constantly worrying doesn’t make us accomplish anything. We often cannot control the things we worry about, especially when they haven’t even happened yet. Worrying only makes us feel anxious, which in turn prevents us from focusing on what we need to accomplish in the present.
Let go of your worries by focusing on the present. What’s currently happening is what you can control and what you can do something about. Leave the future up to God. Trust that He will take care of your future and your needs. One of my favorite Bible verses is Philippians 4:6-7, which says
Do not be anxious about anything but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Even if you’re not religious, trust that the Universe will give you what you need and deserve and that everything will work out in the end.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that you should stop doing anything to improve your life. Just do everything you can at the present, and then allow the Universe to take care of the rest.
15. Let go of a finger-pointing attitude
Although you should not blame yourself for the things that go wrong, you should not blame others either. It’s okay to provide constructive criticism and to indicate how things can be done better in the future, but it’s counterproductive to constantly and solely blame others for the things that go wrong, especially when you’re also involved.
Take accountability for the things that go wrong or for the mistakes made. Learn from them. Instead of pointing fingers at where the error occurred or who made the error, just focus on coming up with a solution or a workaround to get things moving and back on track.
Regardless of who made the mistake, blaming yourself and others will not undo the damage that has already been done. The only thing that you can do at this point is to just move on.
16. Let go of your rose-colored glasses
There are times when we see people, things, and situations not for who and what they really are but for who or what we want them to be. We imagine people and things to be something they’re not, which prevents us from being realistic and from effectively addressing the issues at hand.
If you’re mistreated by a loved one, you may make up excuses for them and hold on to the positive regard you have for them instead of recognizing the fact that they’re hurting you. If you’re in a job that abuses you, you often make excuses that the job has helped you get to where you are, in the process diminishing the impact that the abuse has on you.
Get rid of your rose-colored glasses. See people and things as they really are. This way, you get to put yourself in a better position to make the right decisions and to love and care for yourself.
17. Let go of unforgiveness
When someone does you wrong, learn to forgive them and let go of the hurt they’ve caused you. You don’t have to let them back into your life once you’ve forgiven them. You don’t even have to tell them that you forgive them.
Just let go of all the negative feelings you have toward them, as well as the hurt they’ve caused you. This will allow you to get peace of mind and will enable you to move on with your life.
18. Let go of the need to always be right
Arguments ensue and persist because both sides want to prove that they’re right. However, unless you’re in a legal battle, restoring and preserving relationships is more important than proving that you’re right.
By all means, state your opinion. Share what you know, but don’t expect others to always agree with you. Say your piece, but regardless of how the other person responds, just move on.
The important thing is that they’ve heard your side. Even if they disagree with you, you’re at least giving them a chance to reflect on what you said. You should also respect the other person’s opinion. Even if you think their opinions are wrong, it’s not your job to correct them. Unless it’s a matter of life and death, let them learn their lessons on their own.
19. Let go of your negative habits
Whether it’s smoking, drinking, not sleeping enough, complaining, or procrastinating, let go of your negative habits, as they prevent you from being the best version of yourself. They impede your growth and possibly have a negative effect on your relationships, too.
Try to identify what your negative habits are and take steps to change them and develop positive ones instead.
20. Let go of the desire to blend in
Many people are afraid to stand out, which is why they try to blend in with the majority. They suppress their real feelings and opinions for fear that they might be ridiculed or singled out.
Constantly trying to blend in prevents you from being the real you and from exploring your full potential. Doing things outside the norm may make people criticize you. However, its greatest reward is the freedom to be yourself and not get bothered by what others think.
Don’t be afraid to be different. No one became great by being like the rest. All the great people of our time became so because they stood out and because they stood by their beliefs despite the criticisms they received.
Don’t be afraid to show people how great you are!
21. Let go of the fear of saying “no”
Many are reluctant to say no for fear that they might offend the other person, which may lead to negative repercussions, such as losing a job, losing a friendship, and others.
However, always saying yes to everything that’s asked of you is not “sustainable,” for lack of a better term. You’ll soon wear yourself out, and when that happens, the more you won’t be able to help others.
If they can’t understand why you had to say no, then they probably don’t care for you as much as you care for them—all the more reason that you should put yourself first.
22. Let go of closed-mindedness
Let go of your impulse to reject all views and perspectives that are different from your own. Have an open mind about other people’s perspectives and opinions, as this will allow you to understand them better. In turn, this will allow you to become more empathic with them and will also enable you to have a broader and more holistic perspective on life.
23. Let go of your prejudices
Because of the way society has shaped our beliefs and perceptions, we tend to judge people based on their appearance, background, color, race, and others. However, this hinders us from seeing the positive attributes that they may have. This makes us uninterested in hearing their stories and experiences, which may enrich our lives.
Let go of your prejudices by giving everyone you meet a clean slate. Judge them, if you must, based on how you get to know them and how they present themselves to you, not on what you have heard or read about them. This will make you have a better appreciation of life, the world, and other people. It will make you feel that your world has become bigger and that we are all essentially just the same.
24. Let go of materialism
Getting too attached to material things can lead to superficial feelings of happiness and a lack of fulfillment. Although new devices, clothes, or cars can excite us and make us feel elated for a while, these euphoric feelings will soon die down, leaving us feeling empty.
Instead of investing in material things whose value diminishes over time, invest instead in relationships, experiences, and simple pleasures such as breathing in fresh air, cuddling with your pet, or reading a good book.
Unlike investing in material things, investing in these intangible things leads to increased “returns” such as feelings of contentment, good memories, and inner peace.
25. Let go of mediocrity
Many of us settle for good enough or average. We don’t push ourselves to go beyond our limits in order to develop our full potential. We don’t work or wait for what we really want, as it’s so easy to settle for what’s readily available.
Always remember that you deserve nothing but the best and that the world deserves nothing but the best from you.
Push yourself to keep getting better in all aspects of your life, and never settle for anything but the best!
Final Thoughts
Negative and limiting thoughts, actions, and beliefs prevent us from exploring our full potential and from becoming the best person we can be. Letting go of all these means embracing our true selves and living our life based on our own standards and not on those of others.
Live your life to the fullest! You are beautiful! You are amazing!
